Sometimes my surroundings seem impossible.
At 47 I’m re-evaluating my life, at a time that feels like it’s too late to change anything. I know it’s never too late and all that, but it’s disconcerting to realize that maybe perhaps this isn’t what I’m supposed to be doing. I look at the internet and I look at what art is supposed to be–no, not supposed to be–just what is out there and celebrated as art and all I can think of is what the fuck. I’ve never liked the art world, and it never liked me. In the past few years not only have I come to terms with this but it’s actually been a revelation to me: I really don’t want to be a part of the art world. It’s exclusive, attracts posers, charlatans and wannabes and is extremely intimidating.
I bake incredible cookies and I would always joke to my friends that if I were to ever stop ‘being an artist’, the cookies would be my fallback plan. I’ll never stop drawing, painting and experimenting, but more and more it looks like that little plan B is about to become a reality.
Also, I love my blog. I’ll always do this.
My thoughts exactly… we have the same age and I too feel like an outcast in an ugly world that I don’t like to be a part of. Still searching for my plan B though… You are very talented!
Thanks, it feels good to know I’m not alone! As for plan b’s, I think it’s quite alright to just be a grassroots, people’s artist. Why be a star, it’s not necessary…
Ditto. Though I won’t see 47 years of age again. Thankfully.
Wherever you choose to apply your talents, you will always be World Class.
Thanks Rod. I’m very happy with my future plans! And like you, I’m not excited about 47, can’t wait to turn 48!
Well, I am late in reading this post of yours, and by now you may feel differently. If I may chime in?….good news and bad news. The good news is, your thoughts are a part of the maturing process. The bad news is, these same thoughts will come around again…maybe a couple times per decade. More good news: those thoughts are magnified by the uncertainty of our global future, and as such, you can give extra comfort to yourself and others in order to minimize the pain. More good news: you have thousands of fans worldwide, who know for sure that you are a unique and talented artist! Who says the ‘elite’ are best? Bless their hearts, they do. These rest of us know better. I’m so grateful for the exposure the internet gives us. Take it from an old hippie like me: We rock!! Peace out…..