from yesterday to today, one thing leads to another
How’s this for a chain reaction: two nights ago I invited some friends over to watch the Iceland vs. France match with me. That night one of those people, my dear friend Lubna, returned my ring after generously getting it all polished and new for me. The next day, yesterday, I felt it imperative that I photograph that ring for Instagram (of course!). But (of course again) I needed a complementary backdrop, so I started a watercolor just for it.
I finished that painting this morning. It was a pained process (sometimes things have a way of not working out) but I eventually found my way around it.
Throughout this painting, which you may have noticed is quite labored, my mind was reeling with self-doubt. There’s a potential group exhibition coming up and I’ve been teamed with some pretty edgy, young, exciting Kuwaiti artists. I couldn’t help feeling that I may not be able to step up to the plate, that I am not edgy enough, young enough, exciting enough, Kuwaiti enough. I’m not fishing here, this part is important to the next part of this chain of events. In a nutshell, I lost a tremendous amount of confidence in myself. And my close friends know that when I’m frustrated or when I hit a wall, I paint on myself. So I did.
Sidenote: this potential show I mentioned above centers around Kuwaiti folkloric creatures, and I chose the Bodriya, a siren-like sea monster that is half-woman, half-fish. I’ve been wracking my brain trying to come up with something, both conceptually and creatively. Anyway…
But as my process will have it, just an hour or so ago I decided to create a video.
As I worked on it, the video became more and more evocative of a mythological creature at sea. And here I am now with a renewed sense of excitement and confidence (sometimes things have a way of working out like that).