it started eleven days ago

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the reason why my visa application was rejected and me on the phone with one person or another trying to figure out what to do the next time i apply. it was my mistake, i didn't have the right documentation (and perhaps life that allows me to be eligible). the hardest thing, however, was to decipher what part of my life i would need to change or justify or prove. i know for sure i had relevant papers missing, but surely they would have asked me to send them in via courier mail. since the 24th of july i've been racking my brain with the question: how do i 'significantly change' my situation? and to compound that i'm dreading saying good bye to my son. and i seem to have accumulated a heap of prior heart-break to keep me hurting for at least another six months. i know so many others have it much worse than i do, but this is my pain right now

the reason why my visa application was rejected and me on the phone with one person or another trying to figure out what to do the next time i apply. it was my mistake, i didn’t have the right documentation (and perhaps life that allows me to be eligible). the hardest thing, however, was to decipher what part of my life i would need to change or justify or prove. i know for sure i had relevant papers missing, but surely they would have asked me to send them in via courier mail. since the 24th of july i’ve been racking my brain with the question: how do i ‘significantly change’ my situation when i don’t know what my ‘situation’ is? and to compound that i’m dreading saying good bye to my son. and i seem to have accumulated a heap of prior heart-break to keep me hurting for at least another six months. i know so many others have it much worse than i do, but this is my pain right now

i wanted to offset the 214(b) photo with this one: my family and my eid lunch last week. i'm lucky that my son is leaving for a good reason, that he'll be going to the school of his choice, studying the thing he loves. i am thankful that he will have that opportunity and i'm so proud of him. but i'm still sad, and for once, being in my home is hell. i'm happier when i'm out

i wanted to offset the 214(b) photo with this one: my family and my eid lunch last week. i’m lucky that my son is leaving for a good reason, that he’ll be going to a¬†school of his choice, studying the thing he loves. i am thankful that he will have that opportunity and i’m so proud of him. but i’m still sad, and for once, being in my home is hell. i’m happier when i’m out

noor taking a photo of one of my latest framed pieces. it was so good to visit her this morning. i needed to be out of the house and doing something constructive

noor taking a photo of one of my latest framed pieces. it was so good to visit her this morning. i needed to be out of the house doing something constructive

later this afternoon i met with lubna at her yadawi workspace. we had lunch later on at zaatar w zait in fahaheel. i know, middle of nowhere. but hopefully soon it'll be our little 'somewhere'

later this afternoon i met with lubna at her yadawi workspace. we had lunch later on at zaatar w zait in fahaheel. i know, middle of nowhere. but hopefully soon it’ll be our little ‘somewhere’

2 Comments on “it started eleven days ago

  1. At the end of the day, it is about a construct that a government entity wants you to fit in to…This is part of your inner outer journey… You are the author … Even when it hurts….

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