because i have to stop thinking
Have you ever thought so much it drove you insane? I think I just reached that point; the point where I no longer want things to make sense because they’re just not going to. Ever. Not as long as I’m thinking about them. I feel I’ve reached a level of madness where I just want to stop. Not stop living, but stop being awake. If only I could sleep for a month or two. I know I’d wake up refreshed and slightly less manic.
I started this ‘painting’ today. It isn’t so much a painting as it is a series of doodles, an exercise in not thinking. I tried my best to keep it ‘abstract’. I wanted nothing to make sense. A senseless painting. I don’t even know what I’m painting on. I bought the roll from a stationary store thinking it was canvas, but it isn’t. It smells like wallpaper. Anyway, since nothing makes sense, the fact that I don’t know what I’m painting on…makes sense.