not so haute now, i see

Haute couture (French for “high sewing” or “high dressmaking”; pronounced: [ot kutyʁ], English pronunciation: /ˌoʊt kuːˈtʊər/) refers to the creation of exclusive custom-fitted clothing. Haute couture is made to order for a specific customer, and it is usually made from high-quality, expensive fabric and sewn with extreme attention to detail and finished by the most experienced and capable seamstresses, often using time-consuming, hand-executed techniques. Couture is a common abbreviation of haute couture and refers to the same thing in spirit.^[1]

I was introduced by a friend of mine to a fashion snob the other night. I’ll get straight to my story (via a small diversion because I’m feeling a little catty and I think deservedly so because any kind of snob really gets my goat). At a certain gallery which shall not be named, my friend called over this Amazonian woman and told her to ‘meet my friend, Ghadah.’ ‘Ghadah, this is [*bleep* boy’s name], [*bleep*, this is Ghadah].’ I was about to correct my friend in quite a well-natured manner that *bleep* is actually a man’s name, until it miraculously dawned on me, before putting my big, fat foot in my mouth, that *bleep* wasn’t a hot woman at all but a disturbingly (and unfairly) pretty man.  

I was asked by my friend if I knew that *bleep* was a visiting fashion designer, and *bleep* interjected saying that ‘Oh yes’ he had just shown his work which was ‘haute couture’. I told him I didn’t know what that meant. I think he just about died, hand to chest, eyes rolled in swooning manner. To make things worse my friend pointed up and down at me and said, ‘Does she look like she knows what haute couture is?’ I have to say that when I asked, I was just being my cynical, bitchy self taking the piss (also, I know, because I’m a big Project Runway fan, that the term ‘haute couture’ is not bestowed upon just any old designer garment). So he was all like ‘Oh it means the highest of fashion la da dee la dee da’ and I swear just then and there I wished I could have chaneled…I mean channeled Tim Gunn and remembered what the guidelines were for haute couture fashion. So being anal as I am, I decided to copy the above definition of Haute Couture from Wikipedia and post it here. Take that, *bleep*, because your dresses may be pretty to look at but they are not even meticulously crafted let alone couture.

My problem with *bleep* and others like him is that they so easily call themselves terms that should only be bestowed upon them by others and which are reserved for people who really deserve them or who have earned their status through age and/or experience.