Fairuz & Me|March 6 AM

when i'm tired i just lie down on the floor and watch the paint drip

I’m at a bit of a low here with Fairuz. But I still know what I want to achieve and how to do it so I’m fine. It’s been such a struggle with her. To me, she is not like the painting of Um Kulthum, which was a literal translation from photo to painting. With Fairuz, I am painting her from memory, my memory, my exaggerations and my feelings from bygone days when I used to watch her on TV, transfixed by her cold stature. She is so layered and I have destroyed and reconstructed her over and over and over. I am so tired but I know I must be done with her soon or I’m going to crack.

look what you do to me